Not sure why do i even seem surprised when i see you talking to other women but what i do know is it makes me feel worse.I just dont understand how you can be so heartless when i gave you my everything and you just dont care. All those times we shared together meant nothing to you. I was just another girl in your life.You never loved me and thats something i tell myself everyday.I need to accept that it was all a lie that this love you had for me was never true.And that really breaks my heart.I feel like one of these days ill have a mental breakdown because i feel all of this anger and sadness building inside, it feels like im burning alive.Its  sadness like no other. never felt this way towards a person before.Its just fucked up what youve done and i dont know what else to do!
Why do i keep thinking youll come back one day as a changed man WHY? why do i keep thinking that you do love me why just why i want you gone i dont want to htink of you dream of you no more cant you see its killing me 9\17\14

LETTER: Pieces

I feel like my whole world is coming to an end i feel like picking up the phone and calling you or even texting you asking why?
Why me, what did i do to you ? i don't understand why ?.
How could you be so heartless?
You didn't feel not one bit of remorse while all of this occurred?.
None of this fits clear in my mind.
How can someone invest so much time making someone believe that they love them?  making them believe that one day they will both have something great in the future. 
How someone can be lying for that long and not feel bad at all.
For heavens sake what are you made of ?
Steel? Do you not have blood in your veins? What are you made out of ? don't you have a heart ?.
How could you do this to someone who did nothing to you but love you and care for you? how  HOW could you.
I can feel my heart pound feeling like its going to come out my chest  as i write this, i cry feels like the pain is slowly eating me on the inside.
I guess this is how it feels huh?.
This is how it feels to have your heart broken?.
Its been shattered into a million pieces and its hurting so much.
Its killing me slowly each and each  day.
By the time ill be recovered ill never be the same girl you met 3 years ago,
I wont trust , i wont love the same , ill almost be bitter, And i definitely wont have a heart anymore.
No more of that sweet and innocent.
Nope
you destroyed that girl, and now shell become you.
Shell be careless and heartless like you.
You ruined her and you don't see that.
I don't know how you feel about me nor ill ever will 
Just know that i did love
 and i proved it many times in my life.
I wanted to be your wife 
be here for you always but you took that away from me 
i don't ever want to give myself to someone ever again
i never want to get married i don't want none of that shit
because i wanted it all with you but you destroyed those dreams and took my heart and threw to the ground where it shattered into a million pieces and now nothing will ever be the same.

POEM: Truth

Here i am again sitting in the cold night
thinking of you
realizing how blinded i was by your sweet smile
and your beautiful eyes.
Never thought that behind those restless eyes
there laid the truth,The truth you had been hiding
the truth you could no longer hide.

LETTER: Burdens

I sit back on a late night and start to Remanence,
I begin to take all the notes out
The notes i used to write myself on a daily basis about you and i
It hurts to read these notes
To see how many burdens i was carrying with me everyday 
To see how deeply i talked about my love for you
To see how much i wanted you and i to be happy together 
And as i sit here Reading these notes i realize that i still carry the burdens with me
My mind keeps thinking of you and i
Keep thinking of what you and i could've and shouldn't of been.